Why Stay Married?

Why do the challenging task of working on your marriage? It may be easier to just “cut and run”, by starting fresh with a “clean slate” and a new partner. That way you do not have to engage in Couples Therapy where you have to rehash pain, disappointments and failed expectations.

There was an old movie called Shall we Dance (2004) that starred both Richard Gere and Susan Sarrandon. Although the movie was kind of silly it had one of the best quotes about why to stay married that I have ever heard.  In the movie, Richard Gere’s character had a secret that his wife did not know about. He was taking a dance class.  Susan Sarrandon’s character knew that her husband was hiding something from her, but was unsure what it was, and suspected him of having an affair. She actually hired a private investigator to follow him and the private investigator asked her “If you feel like you can’t trust him, why are you staying?”

She answered by saying  ”In a marriage, you are promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things all of it, all of the time, every day. You are saying that your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.”

Although we are all on our own life paths, it is incredibly valuable to have a witness, someone who truly knows you and can be present with you through the journey.